Mistaken Identity

I have to say I do wonder how we existed before mobile phones and the internet. I really am a communication junkie. This week I was looking on Facebook for an old friend from school, Helena, who I haven't seen since, well, school. A quick search came up with 3 possible matches, and I was pretty certain the one on the Bristol network must be her, she hadn't left our home town according to my mum. Our email conversation went like this...


Helena, hi! Last time I saw you was in school, must have been nearly 10 years! How are you?

It's so nice to hear from you, to be honest I didn't think you'd ever forgive me. I'm really glad we can put the past behind us.


At this point I grimaced. Oh god, she snogged my boyfriend at the time, but I'd never given it a second thought. He was a loser anyway, and he's bald with four kids now, from what I've heard...


Oh, don't be silly, we were so young, so anyway, what have you been up to?

Look that's really nice of you but it isn't something to be taken lightly. I betrayed you and I'm really sorry.


Oh, honestly I thought. Some people are sooo melodramatic.


Like I said, not a big deal, it was years ago. It's not like relationships are serious when you're sixteen!

Yes, but it was your dad. And I understand now why you were so upset.


Shit. This wasn't my old schoolfriend Helena. This was someone else. What was I to do? I pondered various responses for half an hour then finally replied...


Yes, I know, but Jesus teaches us to forgive, Helena. I've forgiven you and I think you should finally forgive yourself.


Yikes, I've deleted her as a friend. That'll teach me to mess with the past.


However, this case of mistaken identity didn't end there. My mobile phone broke this week, and I had to borrow a handset from my boss until my new one arrived. I hastily stored my most essential numbers in it, and drunkenly texted (what I thought was) my boyfriend on Thursday night after a few work drinks...


Fancy coming over? I'm wearing those heels u like ;-)

Gosh, wish I got texts like this from mysterious strangers more often!


Slightly surprised at the reply, (OK is the standard response) but tipsy and feeling flirtatious, I replied...


I'm mysterious and drunk, when will u b here?

If I knew your name and address I'd be right there...

Well you do...so what u waiting 4?

OK then mysterious, just give me the address, I can do without your name...


This wasn't my boyfriend. He hadn't even made this much effort when we met. I checked my contacts again. Why were there two entries against my boyfriends name? Oh god, it's my boss's old phone, she must have some numbers saved in there too...and my boyfriend's name is the same as...her husband's!

Needless to say I no longer felt tipsy, but quite sober all of a sudden. And a little sick. Who needs technology? Not me...